Five Nights With Grunkle Stan
by FuckmanJenkins
Summary: The Pines family is running out of money so Grunkle Stan has to get a new job at FNAF! But he doesn't know is that Freddy's has a dark secret! ANIMATRONICS! DEMONS! PORTALS! TREACHORY! BACKSTABBING!
1. New Job

Grunkle Stan was in the living room of the Mystery Shack and watching his favorite soap opera about the duchess and the dukies. And he was also eating a soda because that his favorite. He is fat with sweat and food spots on his shirt but that's ok. "No, mother I will not marry the count! He is evil!" said the TV duchess with blonde hair and blonde eyes.

"you tell him duchess!" said Stan as he pulled a wedgie from his booty and smiled a grin. Then Mabel and Dipper, they are twins, came down the stairs from the room in the top house and said this: "Grunkle Stan we are hungry! Give us food please!"

"Ok," said Grunkle Stan because he has to feed them or they will starve. Taking care of kids is a big reponsiblity, and it is even harder than taking care of a dog because dogs can make their own food (i saw a dog eat their poop one time) and kids can't. He reached into his pocket for his wallet and got his wallet. He reached into his wallet to find some money, but he only found $10. "Uh oh"

"What is wrong?" Dipper asked his grunkle what was wrong because he is smart and usually worries about practical things like this.

Grunkle stan said this "Well kids I only have $10 right now. I can get you a meal at Chick fil gay right now but then I won't have any money left to feed you and pay bills."

Mabel got a very sad face like a kitten who didn't get their happy meal toy. "Does that mean that you are going to send us away back to our parents from here again like that one time where you lost the shack to Gideon?!" She started to cry glittery tears.

Grunkle gave the twins a big warm hug, telling them that everything will be ok. "Everything's gonna be ok, you two. Don't worry, I'll just have to get another job, since no one is coming to the shack anymore since that monster came." He was right about that. A monster came a few days ago and scared away many tourists. The scared tourists had written online blogs telling others not to come to the Mystery Shack because it is too dangerous and that they had heard online rumors that Grunkle Stan was a pedo and would give you a infection. No one came to the shack any more, and the Pines family had been living on his life savings. But since they had to bail STan out of jail and pay his medical bills (he had a heart attack because he is old and fat and that is not a very good combo) they money tank were almost empty.

Dipper and Mabel then smiled once again, believing that their great uncle would pull thorough for them. "Now go and get ready, kids, i'll take you two out to eat and then I'll look for a new job in the morning." Stan told them before they ran away and got dressed. He then went to the bathroom and got nacked to his butt. He showered and bathed and then got out of the shower and covered himself in a big towel. He went over to the sink and shaved his face and looked like those old men from the Old Spice commercials.

In their room, Dipper and Mabel also got dressed for pubic. Dipper put on his normal clothes, his hat, shirt, vest, shorts, socks, shoes, and Mabel wore her shorts and a sweater that had a Dinosaur on it. It was talking, and the words on it said, "I AM DEAD" and she put on her shoes also.

Grunkle Stan decided to not wear his fez and suit tuxedo because Chik fil a didn't prove of his mr. Mystery fursona and didn't like magic because they are Christian, and he didn't want to get kicked out and deprove his niece and nephew of nutrients. He wore his cool hawaiian shirt and a pair of pants, and he had no hat so his fluffy gray hair was out.

They got into his STNLYMBL and drove into the small town of Gravity Falls. Everyone was walking around happily because it was nice and sunny outiside. But it wasn't the same in the car Pines'. It felt depresing in there because they werre still sad about them being in poverty. Soon they wouldn't be able to pay the bills or buy food and they would have to eat their clothes, and neither of the twins wanted to see Grunkle Stans hairy ass naked, fortunately for them they wouldn't have to see him at night because they couldn't pay the energy bill so it would be too dark but then they would have to see him during the day time because the sun was a source of light.

They drove to the Chick Fil A parking lot and parked into a lot. When they walked in everyone was singing songs about Jesus dying so that everyone would go to Heaven except for gays and people who don't stone musliems. They went up to the register counter and ordered some chicken sandwiches because they apparently invented that shit.

They went to a table and sat down and began eating. The family talk and smiled for a bit, trying to forget about their problems for a while and trying to have fun. But then, suddenly, they overheard a conversation coming from a couple from the other table next to them in the restaurant. "Hey Steve, have you heard about that got shot down? The pizza place?"

Steve, the other man talking, noddde and then said " Yeah, the one from like 20 years ago""

"Yes." said Jonathon, the other man in the table "They're starting it back up for some reason, and they're looking for new people to work their. And they are also so desperate for workers that they are willing to pay them $50 each night and they only have to work 6 hours a day at the night time for the job."

Grunkle Santan heard this, and his ears picked up the sounds like a radar inj the desert looking for alien trans,missens. Mabelk smiled at her great uncle Flan and said that "Hey Grunkle Stan! You could work in that pizza place and get money so that we can pay bills and continue to see in the dark and not starve because maybe we can also get free pizza since you also work there!"

Dipper also liked this idea and began to say something but Grunk interrupted. "I like this idea! Excuse me fine gentlemans!" he asked the two men at the neighboring table "What place did you say was hiring for a job?"

The two man, Steve and Jonathon, looked at each other with eyes that had a secret message. "It is freddy Fazbears Pizza, but you do not want to work there." they warned.

But Grunkle Stan was a very foolish, stubborn oldened elderly men. He grabbed the children under each pit and got into the car with excitement. The men at the table with chicken in hand then said a very spooky scary shadowy thing! "Poor old man, he does not know what waits for him…"

 **(AN: Did you guys like my story? I tried my best to write, please leave good reviwes! The next chapter will get interesting!)**


	2. Young Man

After the Pines family filled each orifice with meat sandiwhces, they drove to their lovely shack of Mystery and went to sleep. Around 12 at noon the next day, Grunkle Stan called Soos to come over and babysit the kids while he was gone. When he came in his pickup truck, they saw that he was now in the lawncare industry since he could no longer work at the shack because no one came there anymore to buy merch. Stan didn't like admitting this, but he loved Soos like a son or maybe even a daughter since he was soft between his legs. Even though he had breasts Grunkle thought about adopting him, but then denied when he refused to wear a bra because once you are gifted with the responsiblity of wielding baby food tanks, you must also take the requirements of keeping them sealed off from the outside world.

After hugging the kids goodbye and entrusting Soos with watching over his distant seed, he Got into his car and drove off to sign up for his new job. The pizza parlor wasn't too far away from town Gravity Falls, it was actually a few blocks down from Greasy's diner, a place that Lazy Susan worked at. Stan remembered Susan. She was a classy lady with style, but her eye was really weird. Legend has it that it was an injury that was caused by a blowjob gone wrong. He dated her for a while, but he got a little shy and ran away. Youd know that if you watched Dreamscapers, one of my favorite eps!

He pulled into the driveway of Freddy Fazbear Pizza, and the place looked very spooky. It looked newly built, but it was very silent and had an eery atmospher to it. "Huh, I would think that many kids would swarm to play here! And pizza!" said Grunkle Stan with suspicion in his heart. He got out of the car and walked up to the front door and opened it, walking into the building. No one was in sight. But what he did saw was surprising to his old man heart!

"Gasp!" gasped Grunkle Stan as he saw something surprising! He had never seen this before in his life! There were three robotic in animal suits with musical tools on the stage at the front of the resturant that was facing him! On the left was a purple bunny with a guitar, on the right was a yellow chicken with dark eye circles and scary teeth holding a evil cupcake, and the very middle, the ring leader of this monstrosity fiasco, was a brown bear in a top hat with a microphone. Grunkle San had seen some pretty weird shit in his life. He had fought Gremloblins, gnomes, unicorns, and other monsters in his past (but we will get to that later because if I say any more it will be a spoiler c:) but these really freaked him out. He was now angry and filled with untrust, and he felt like left-hooking them all in the face!

"What're you looking at, you furry bastards?!" he yelled angrily at the children's band of food pizza. "Don't you know who I am?! I am Stanford Pines! If you knew my past you would not glare at me so disgustingly! I'm here to RULE YOU because I will WORK HERE!" but as he yelled he did not notice the young man in uniform walk behind him and place a hand on his broad, muscular shoulder. "Wh-AUGH!" Grunkle Stan yelped in surprise like a goat being targeted by the prowlers of the night.

"Um, can I help you, sir?" the man said kindly, yet a little confused about why he'd be here a day before they opened up the pizza parlor. As Grunkle turned around to face him his hand stayed put on his shoulder, slightly stroking it in admiration. "Are you lost in your crippling old age?"

"No, you dumb idiot! I'm not stupid enough to get lost!" Grunkle Stan shouted angrily with fiery rage bubbling in his throat like people in the middle ages being dipped in fryer oil as means of torture because they weren't catholic christians or they were witches or something. "I'm here to get a job! I need to feed myself and my great niece and nephew and be able to afford clothes and bill payments!"

"Oh my! Well I'm glad you've come to work with us! We've been in need of new employees and you've come just in time!" said the very flamboyent and girly tan colored man in a cowboy hat with an earring and goat T. He gave Stan a weird stare and looked at his muscle covered chest. "Come with me and we'll have you employed in no time at all! After you fill out your resume, I will explain our work procedure and your duty as a Night Guard at FNAF!"

The man walked into the other room in the back as Stanford followed him. They walked all the way down the hall and into the back office. A bunch of shitty kid drawings covered the wall and a tablet monitor was on the table as well as some smelly trash that someone didnt clean up after they were done eating. "Here is your Night Guard office! Sit in this office Chair and fill out these forms! Call for me once you get done doing paperwork!" he gave Stan a huge stack of papers that was even bigger than a torah and a budha combined.

Stan groaned, he was not a man of paperwork! He was more of a man of action and left hooks. But he did them anyways because he loved Dipper and Mabel enough to do dumb things and sacrifice his dignity for them. They were real good kids, especially Mabel, who was his favorite although he loved both of them very much but he felt like he could get along with Mabel much better because she was sweet and adorable and funny but was also very strong, both physically and willingly.

He began to fill out the paper work like this. NAME: Stanford Pines AGE: 63 WEIGHT: 287lbs ALLERGIES: None MEDICATION: heart attack meds and ibuprofen PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: Conman SPOUSE: husband, Goldie (remember?! he was from Soos and the Real Girl! THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD EP!1) ORIENTATION: Bisexual (that is my headcanon and if yOU DONT AGREE WIHT ME THEN U ARE A HOMOPHOBE AND WRONG SO GO AWAY) EYESIGHT: Glasses CLOTHING SIZE: XL Male FEARS: Heights FAMILY: Not telling~ :P

"I'm finished with my paper!" yelled out Grunkle Stan to the young man, signing his signature name at the bottom of the paper on the dotted name line at the bottom. He didn't come to his office, so he walked back to the stage room of the Pizza place to look for him. It was a little dark and one of the lights was flickering on and off like a bug zapper or a Republicans sex drive. As he looked around he could have sworn he saw the bear's head move a little. He looked at the bear and decided that he must have been imagining it.

The man finally came out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to his hand with white paste. "Are you finished? Great! Give it to me now and I will see if you qualify for the job!" He grabbed the paper out of Stan's hand and read over it. "Oh yes, you will do nicely! You are ripe with age and wise as well as physically fit for this particular job!"

"Great! When will I start?" asked Grunkle Stan, a smile widening underneath his Muppet nose which also kinda looked like a penis.

"You can start tomorrow night! Spend the remainder of the day and tonight and the day before tomorrow night looking over the rules and regulations of the restaurant before you come! Also, we will fit you for your uniform before you leave, that is why we had you write your clothing size on your paper work!"

"That is understandable" said Grunkle Stan understandably. Nodding his head in agreement. "Also, can I take some pizza home to my kids? They are small and hungry."

"Of course! Freddy Fazbear Entertainment is always catering to the needs of the children! Freddy just loved kids!" He laughed and pointed to the bear robot. "Speaking of Freddy, these animatronics are your number one responsibility! Once you start working here, you will need to watch over them at night! We cannot let them sit there locked on the stage at night so that they will not get locked up in their servos! The kids here love them, they are a national treasure, and we don't want anything to happen to them!"

Grunkle stan sighed into himself, the man worker not able to hear him doing so. He did not trust those 'animatronics' at all. "Yeah ok sure."

The man gave him his boxs of delicious pizza and waved to him goodbye as he left the building. Stan got into his car again and drove all the way home, happy that he has a new job and is able to support him and his family. When he got home, it was around 3 in the afternoon. He got inside with pizza boxes in hand and he saw Soos and the Twins in the living room. Soos and Dipper were looking at the third journal and Mabel was playing patty-cake with Waddles, her pig. "I'm home, everyone!" he called out to his family and Soos.

They all looked up and him and smiled. Dipper and Mabel ran up to him and hugged him around his legs because they were short. Waddles snorted happily and ran around in circles like a dumb pig in the mud except there was no mud because the floor was clean and Soos stood up and shook Grunkle Stan's hand. "Thanks for looking after the kids, Soos, you're a good man."

("It's the least I could do, Mr. Pines!") Soos' dialogue is translated to English from Spanish for your viewing pleasure.

"Ok, you kids, I brought home pizza from my new job!" Grunkle Stan said enthusasticaly to the children. He held out the pizza box and put it on the kitchen table. Dipper and Mabel smiled excitedly and ran to the kitchen.

"Thank you So much, Grunkle Stan!" said Mabel sweetly and warmly like an old grandma with cancer. Grunkle Stan smiled, he was glad that they had come to spend the summer with him. They were always there to cheer him up when he felt lonely. He hadn't seen them since they were born, and that was like 12 years ago. The day he saw the too of them in the hospital bed he cried happy tears but not like a pedophile. They were so tiny, and he loved them almost instantaneously even though he only got to see them on some holidays. He was also glad that an old fucker like him could make them happy ever ynow and then.

Dipper and Mabel eat the pizza, and he even gave some to Waddles and Soos. He didn't even have to limit there portions since there were tow whole pizzas for them all to enjoy! and he didnt have to worry about their fat asses eating it all so that the kids didnt even got one single piece of slice.

After the kids finished their pizzas, they were full and went to bed. Soos thanked Stan for the pizza and headed home to his abolita. Stan had sex with her once. Waddles the pig crawled up in bed with Mabel, and the living room was silent except for Stan, who had not gone to bed yet. He decided to look over the packet of rules that the young man at FNAF gave to him to look over and prepare for his new job. But since he had to sleep during the day time because his job was at night, he decided to go up and say goodnight and tuck them in maybe.

He walked up the stairs and opened their bedroom door, and it looked like they had already gone to sleep. Dipper was pased out with his journal open on his stomach, and Mabel was cuddling a creepy bear with Waddles sleeping on the bottom part of her bed. Grunkle Stan went over to Dipper and kissed him on his forehead and closed the journal and put it on the nightstand next to his bed. He looked at Mabel and saw that she was sitting up and smiling and not asleep. "What are you doing awake Mabel?"

"I just wanted to say thanks you for getting a job and making sure that we dont become Ethiopian" Mabel said thankfullly for her Grunkle. "I love you Grunkle Stan 3" she said all cute like a puppy begging for bacon and ear scratches.

"Your welcome, sweetie." Grunkle Stan said softly and quietly because it was night time. She laid back down and Grunkle Stan kissed her too and ruffled her hair like a good sport. Then he went back downstairs and took off his suit and tie and changed into his wife beater and boxers and sat in his chair. He picked up the packet that he got from FNAF and decided to look at it.

But when he looked at it he saw something really strange. Red liquidy stuff was on the front page. "Is that blood?!" Grunkle Stan said in surprise.

 **(Didn't I say that it would get interesting?! OMG can you guiys believe that! STAY TUNED! IN THE NEXT CHAPTER HE WILL START HIS JOB AT NIGHT 1)**


End file.
